Away Days can be very entertaining

One thing that's guaranteed with an away day is someone is going to do or say something ridiculous or something will just happen to ignite the laughter switch. I have one stand out faux pas moment that always brings tears to my eyes (through laughter), picture the scene, 5 guys playing trivial pursuit in a quiet country pub, quiz master Dave asked 'what is Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy more commonly known'?, Spongebob squarepants is not the answer as the euphoric laughter quite clearly pointed out, yes I know I am as mad as they come.

Luton wasn't a laughing matter, more a I am human get me out of here moment, we walked into a pub, well it had a Pub sign, went to the bar '2 pints of lager mate please', 'don't do lager' was the reply, ok '2 pints of beer please', 'don't do beer', ok '2 pints of cider please', you got it no cider either, ok 5 bottles of anything that could be described as alcohol please.

We moved on from there to what looked a better pub, how wrong could you be, I chose a Guinness, to say it was rancid is an understatement. I went to discuss the problem with the landlord 'Your Guinness is off young man', 'No it ain't its the best Guinness in Luton', due to the events in the previous pub I had nothing to negate his claim. Quick thinking as ever I slammed a £5 note on the bar stating 'you drink that, keep that, if you don't I get a refund and a free drink'. The £5 went back in me wallet as the landlords face turned greener by the second.

Chesterfields match at Brentford one December was called off, but being as we had already booked the train tickets off to London we travelled, we chose Charlton v Blackpool an FA cup game, one thing that sticks in my mind from this jaunt is, we were having refreshments in a bar when a man walked upto us, obviously a local 'hello guys, Charlton fans'. 'No' we replied, 'ok Blackpool fans then' 'No', we again replied, the answer 'we're here supporting football' installed a somewhat gobsmacked look on his face, quality.

One of my biggest clangers has to be a pre season friendly away at Burton. Should I blame myself for the outcome or the fact that both Derby and Burton decided to have beer festivals on the same day. Yes it got messy, so messy in fact I thought we'd lost the game, in fact we'd won. Calling back at Derby wasn't the best idea, especially due to the outcome, I headbutted a plant pot on the way down (instant cartoon lump), lost my jug of cider on the train, but oh more importantly you must get off the train at your stop wide awake, not fall to sleep and get woke up by a train guard in Leeds(40 miles from home. It was the quickest i had ever sobered up in my life.
The trials and tribulations just get better.
Stu M.

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